It’s the last Thursday of the month, so it’s time for another edition of Going Off-Script, your monthly film preview.
I’m going to add something new to this column starting 2020: a Rotten Tomatometer prediction. I feel pretty fucking confident in my previews, and I think I’m right over 80% of the time.
So let’s put that to the test! If I am within 5% of the RT score the Sunday after release, it’s a W. Otherwise, it’s an L.
I’ll update the score each month, and if at the end of 2020 I’m not over 80%, you guys get to pick a punishment.
Let’s dive in:
The Grudge (January 3rd)
My friends from high school and I have an annual tradition. Every year, on the first weekend of January, we get drunk and watch the first horror movie of the year. And every year, it usually sucks ass.
But this year, I think we may actually be seeing a good film. The director for the reboot of The Grudge, Nicolas Pesce, has made two other films (both horror) that have had decent reviews on RT (in the mid-70s).
Oh, and you’ve got Lin Shaye who’s been in like every horror movie ever made. Seriously.
I’m already committed to seeing this movie, but I think it’ll be decent anyway.
RT Prediction: 63%
Like a Boss (January 10th)
Anyone else gettin Horrible Bosses and Bridesmaids vibes?
It’s even got one of the actresses (Rose Byrne) from Bridesmaids. I mean, this kinda looks good, right? Even I laughed at the “womanscaping” joke.
But here’s my issue: the director isn’t that good. He makes forgettable, average comedies. And that’s what I think this one is gonna be. It’ll be a fun night out with the girls, but you’ll never see this movie again.
RT Prediction: 56%
Dolittle (January 17th)
I was fully prepared to hate on this movie until I saw the above trailer in theaters before Rise of Skywalker. Now I’m kinda sold.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Robert Downey Jr. fan, but I’ve always thought the Dr. Dolittle premise was dumb. Maybe the Eddie Murphy movies ruined it for me.
Also, this director, Stephen Gaghan, is a complete wildcard. He won an Academy Award for writing Crash, but he didn’t direct it and he’s had mediocre success with critics for the rest of his work.
Regardless, I truly believe RDJ is going to bring this classic franchise back to prominence, just like he did with Sherlock Holmes.
RT Prediction: 72%
Bad Boys for Life (January 17th)
The best part of the Bad Boys series has always been Will Smith and Martin Lawrence’s chemistry.
The action is good, there’s a ton of explosions, but the story is always just surface level. But those were Michael Bay films so you already knew all of that.
This time, we’ve two brand new directors from Belgium, queen of “The Fappening” Vanessa Hudges, and DJ Khaled. So yea, I don’t think this is gonna be any better.
But does it have to be? Maybe we’ll at least get some classic Will Smith humor…
RT Prediction: 43%
The Turning (January 24th)
Yea, this looks like trash.
I mean, the director’s biggest claims to fame are one feature film, two episodes of The Handmaids Tale, and a bunch of music videos including Katy Perry’s “E.T.” and Justin Timberlake’s “Mirrors”.
They do have the writers from The Conjuring and Finn Wolfhard (Mike from Stranger Things) is always great, but I don’t think any of that will save this film.
RT Prediction: 34%
The Gentlemen (January 24th)
Speaking of the Sherlock Holmes reboot, The Gentlemen is the new film by that director: Guy Ritchie.
I have no idea what to think of this. On one hand, you’ve got some of my favorites like Matthew McConahay, Charlie Hunnam, and Colin Farrell.
But on the other hand, there’s nothing about this film that stands out to me. It kinda looks like a weaker version of Snatch or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (also both Guy Ritchie films).
So yea, more of a wait till it hits a streaming service title for me.
RT already has this posted, its a 76%