I’ve had it. I’ve had enough. This is absolute utter bullshit. Fuck the intro, we’re going right the fuck in right now.

Very few people have actually played through Borderlands 3 so far. Only the biggest members of gaming media have been given press release titles, and the reviews have been pouring in. As it stands on Monday evening, Borderlands 3 is holding an 85 on Metacritic. Pretty solid score; a bit lower than I was expecting, but good nonetheless. However, there is another game has a higher rating than Borderlands 3, and I can tell you without even playing BL3 that there is no fucking way that Gears 5 is a better game.

Let’s all agree on a few things: Gears of War used to be an excellent first party exclusive franchise for Microsoft. When Epic Games was in charge, the series thrived. I’ve stated recently how I loved Gears of War 3, especially how the online never lagged or kicked me from games. I shit you not when I say I spent 20 minutes in a Gears 5 lobby last Friday waiting for a game. It was an endless cycle of waiting for players, forming the group, giving everyone time to adjust their loadouts, and then load everyone onto the server only for it to immediately crash and start the cycle all over again. I cannot fucking believe that Microsoft allowed The Coalition to roll out that title with no working multiplayer. When I finally was able to join a game, it was plagued by the worst lag I’ve ever seen. It was like I was playing it on a college WiFi connection with 10000 users streaming Netflix in 4K HD. And for the record, I have a fiberoptic 100 Gbs internet service hardwired into my Xbox One.

This is your #2 franchise behind Halo and you released it without functioning multiplayer! How the fuck do you do that? I haven’t played the story yet and I will agree that it is a beautiful game, but can you rate this an 86+? How much money did you have to get paid to lie through your teeth? The servers for this game were so fucking bad that it crashed Xbox Live for like 6 hours on a Friday night! That’s one of your peak gaming times of the week! It’s unacceptable, and I’ll tell you one more thing, whoever the fuck reviewed Gears 5 and Borderlands 3 from PC Gamer deserves to be crucified on a cross covered in broken glass, fire ants, and poison oak. (Pending my playthrough this weekend live on Mixer).