The next 3 games in this #WeeklyRanked could move around a bit as we get closer to each release date, but they are all in another tier than the bottom of this list. Like how sweet potatoes are in a much higher tier than regular potatoes. It’s not even a comparison, and I will die on that hill. What makes a regular potato so good? You basically have to add bacon, cheese, sour cream, butter, salt and pepper to fully enjoy it and at that point it’s just a fucking vehicle for all the toppings. Sweet potatoes tho, you just add a bit of butter (and if you’re feeling super naughty) a little cinnamon or brown sugar (yea, eat that sugary potato slut). That’s it. It is the superior potato. And if one of you ignorant fucks starts talking about yams and/or marshmallows I swear to god my dad works for Xbox and he’ll hack your Xbox One X and turn it into a fucking brick.

Ok…what were we talking about? Oh. Right…

Numbuh 3: The Outer Worlds

Ah, where shall we begin. Well, let’s start with the obvious: looks like “Fallout in space” right? Good job. Get yourself a cookie bitch, you’ve cracked the code. The Outer Worlds looks like “Fallout in space” because the game directors are the creators of the Fallout franchise. Sounds incredible right? Well hold your horses (or put them in the back or whatever), because that’s a little misleading. When you hear “the creators of Fallout“, you mind goes directly to Fallout 3 right? Same here. Anyone under the age of 30 probably hasn’t played Fallout or Fallout 2, because they were both released in the 90s. Well, these guys are behind the original games; they had no part in the development of Fallout 3 or any future entries. Is that a bad thing? No, absolutely not. but it is a marketing tactic that is meant to deceive the youths of the world. But hey, congrats. You read my blog and I’m not a fucking idiot. You learned something today. Get yourself another cookie you fat bitch.

Ok so let’s take a deeper dive into why I am really excited for this game. First, I think the main and side narratives are going to be much better written than anything that Bethesda has done with previous Fallout entries. Why? Because the early Fallout titles were primarily strategy RPGs instead of action RPGs. Tim Cain and Leonard Boyarsky (Fallout creators) are well know in the industry for making great stories that can balance both silliness and morbidity. If you were disappointed in Fallout 4 and Fallout 76 because of the weak narratives, this should excite you. Next, Obsidian Entertainment is clearly paying attention to other action RPGs, taking the best elements of each, and improving on them for this title. They’ve taken the typical speech paths that we’ve grown used to in Fallout and Mass Effect and made them more complex. They’ve taken the V.A.T.S. system from Bethesda’s Fallout entries and put their own spin on it. Hell, they’ve even added some wacky guns like you seen in Borderlands or Rage. It really is like a celebration of the last 5 years of action RPGs. And finally, this is something the directors are passionate about. Leonard Boyarsky has described this title as his “dream game”. I understand that not every “dream game” is going to be a hit, but when we’re talking about two of the greatest game creators of all time, that statement should have you foaming at the mouth to play their masterpiece.

The Outer Worlds will be released on all platforms on October 25th. Get it, and thank me later.