TROLLLALLAAALLALLALLAALLAAAALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….
God I hope some of you clicked that picture thinking I was actually going to make Shenmue 3 my most anticipated game of 2019. Fuck. That. I mean seriously outside of the Eastern Hemisphere, who plays that shit? That’s why I could never work at a company like IGN or Gamespot unless I got complete freedom to write and review whatever I wanted. I mean could you imagine being assigned to review something like Goat Simulator or even worse, Dragon Quest Builders 2? (I need to stop giving ideas to those praying I lose this bet…). I would be brain dead after an hour.
Good news though, I’m not about to spend an hour blogging about a trashy JRPG. I’m about to spend probably 20 minutes raving about one of my favorite franchises of all time, with their newest entry topping my most anticipated games still to come this year.
Numbuh 1: Borderlands 3
This is it. This is the only game in my mind that stands even the slightest chance at beating out Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice for 2019 Game of the Year. And that is not the sole reason I have Borderlands 3 at the top of the list. It’s also what every single shared world multiplayer game should aspire to be. I replayed through all 3 of the previous games this summer, and they all have aged wonderfully. The campaign, the characters, the thousands of guns, Moxxi’s tits, Claptrap’s wacky humor, all the other characters trying to shut Claptrap up, Moxxi’s tits, Handsome Jack still being the best villain of all time, Moxxi’s tits…the list goes on and on (and yes, Moxxi’s tits is like 75% of the list. What a wonderful pair of flesh bubbles.) So let’s break down some of those elements a bit further.
First, the campaign. Borderlands had a very weak overall narrative, but it paved the way for the masterpiece that is Borderlands 2. I loved how they brought back all the playable characters from the first game and turned them into lead NPCs, and I repeat, Handsome Jack is the best villain of all time. But it’s not just these elements that made the campaign in Borderlands 2 so good, its how the developers used them to engage the players. I’m not going to spoil anything in case some of the readers haven’t played it yet (and if I find out who you are, I’m going to hire someone to follow you around with the “SHAME” bell from GoT until you do), but if you played through the previous game as Roland, Mordecai, or even Lilith, you definitely had some beef to settle with Jack by the end. Next, the gameplay is spectacular. Anyone who has played through these games knows there’s almost never a dull moment in the Borderlands universe. All of the enemies are unique, and many have specific ways to kill them instead of unload clip after clip into their chest. This is what games like Anthem and Destiny are missing: they get stale way too fast. An excellent campaign, creative FPS gameplay, unique loot, and even the little things like the humorous voice lines from NPCs as you walk by all do a great job of keeping the player engaged for the full campaign. And you shouldn’t expect anything less from the newest entry. Boasting a 35 hour campaign, two brand new antagonists, and four new characters each with their own unique abilities, Borderlands 3 is an absolute must play this fall.
Good news is, you wont have to wait much longer. Borderlands 3 will be out on September 13th for Stadia, PC, Xbox One and PS5.
