Finally, after almost 6 months since a significant release (Animal Crossing), Nintendo has shown up to the shitshow that is 2020. There were rumors earlier this year that this event would be happening, but we all know how rumors go in the gaming community. One person on Twitter will post a theory and 3 days later we’ll have rumors flying left and right that Super Mario Odyssey DLC and Mario Kart 9 are coming next week.

But this time, it turned out to be true. We are officially getting Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, and Super Mario Galaxy remasters to the Nintendo Switch. That’s a W boys. That’s a big freakin DUB-UL-EWWW.

Note that these will not be remakes and if this is in line with Nintendo’s previous “remaster” history, these will most likely just be ports of the older games with the camera angle adjusted to fit the Switch screen. But seriously, who gives a fuck anymore? I just want to be able to hop on my train to work, collect a few stars, and relive my childhood. These are some of the best platformers of all time and I cannot wait to yeet myself through a painting or fight one of those melted ice cream monsters again

But that’s not all that Nintendo dropped. You thought the KINGS of gaming were going to just sit by during this year’s console war? You fool. You absolute moron. Disappointed doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I’m feeling toward you right now. You seriously thought that because Xbox has the most teraflopped console of all time and PlayStation is launching with Spida-Man that NINTENDO was out for the count?

Well look at you now.

You lookin like a big DUMB GUY right now huh? How bold of Nintendo to announce their next gen console just two months before launch WITH a release date and price. Xbox and PlayStation must be shitting buckets right now. And that’s why Nintendo is still the king of gaming.

Oh, and they’ve got this Mario battle royale that looks like ass but I’m gonna play in and get a win just like I did in Tetris 99. Hopefully, it takes less than 90 hours this time.