Ok so let’s talk about how to kill a game literally the day it’s released.

Most of you have probably never heard of Fuser before reading this blog (unless you follow who I follow on Twitter which means your timeline is about to get flooded with hot takes on this game).

The game actually looks kinda cool; it’s a rhythm game like Beat Saber or Rockband but instead, you’re a DJ hosting a music festival. In any other year, people would have just glossed over this game but you know…2020 ruined every festival on the planet. So this game had a decent shot at becoming a big deal this year, especially on streaming platforms since basically anyone could easily host their own music festival online for their friends and viewers to enjoy.

And then these motherfuckers decided to ruin it all.

You see, in case you didn’t know, we’re at war. We’ve been at war for over a decade now. Music labels have decided that any time you hear even a second of a song that they own, you owe them money. They’re like the evil Sheriff of Nottingham; collecting royalties and licensing fees from all us poor folk so that Prince John can fill his castle with gold.

But what does all this have to do with Fuser? We’ve already deleted all our Twitch VODs and clips and stuff like they asked us to, and now we just want to play this new DJ game for all of our fans to enjoy. The developers had to have gotten approval to use all that music right? What more do they want?

Don’t worry, I’m gonna spell it out for you.

Ok so no ads, no ad breaks, turn off your shiny overlays, don’t ask for subs, don’t as for donations, just don’t fucking ask for anything. OH and by the way, we may make a claim on your stream and place “an ad” so that WE can make money off of YOUR stream.

I can tell you exactly how that’s gonna go guys. They’re going to spam the fuck out of your streams with ads, all of which make you $0.00. That’s what’s going to happen if you stream Fuser.

Oh but there’s more…

Ok so if you want to use footage from our game to promote your streams, you can ONLY put them on YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram AND they can’t have any music from the game playing in them. You can just hum. But don’t hum too good or we get to play another ad that you get no money for but we do.

Do you see what is happening? Do you see how fucked up this is?

Basically, record labels have found out that you can make a shit ton of money on streaming platforms and have developed a “trojan horse” strategy to take over thousands of people’s streams. If you choose to play Fuser on Twitch or YouTube or any other streaming platform, they are coming for you and all the money they can leech from your broadcast.

So the question is: why would you even play Fuser at all? Who wants to play that game by themselves? What are you gonna do sit in your gaming room all alone DJing to a bunch of virtual eboys and egirls? You gonna invite some IRL friends over to watch you play?

No. You’re not going to do any of that. Because that’s dumb as fuck. Instead, you’re just not going to play Fuser, which means you’re not going to buy Fuser, which means NO ONE IS GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME IT SHOWED UP DOA. These devs just worked their ass off for like 2-3 years making a game that no one is going to buy solely because music labels have decided that they aren’t rich enough.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Fuck DMCA.