Sony is evil and I want them dead

I am still so disappointed and this news broke, what, Tuesday afternoon? This is bullshit. We as fans do not deserve this whatsoever. We have now gone through three different actors, three different directors, three different origin films, and we have still yet to see the Sinister Six brought to the big screen. For anyone still confused why all of this is happening, allow me to summarize: these companies suck. Sony has owned the rights to Spider-Man for like 20 years, ever since Tobey Maguire first donned the suit. Back in 2015, Sony and Disney struck a deal that would allow Spidey to appear in the MCU. Basically, Sony would fully finance the production costs of any Spider-Man film, Marvel/Disney would get 5% of the opening night box office and 100% of the merchandising rights, and Sony would get the rest of the profits. Well, that deal is up now and apparently, neither side has any intention of retaining the partnership. Sony has zero desire in being a 50/50 partner on Spider-Man films, and rumor has it that Marvel doesn’t want anything less. So now we’re about to enter potentially a 4th iteration of our beloved superhero. It fucking sucks and what makes it worse is that Marvel was finally doing the character justice. Far From Home was incredible, and set up the beginnings of what would surely be a road to the Sinister Six, as well as another edition of the Green Goblin. Now we’re probably gonna see some fuckwad like Dylan O’Brian or something take on Tom Hardy’s shitty Venom instead. It fucking makes me sick.

But don’t worry, IGN has the solution…

Fill the void?? FILL THE VOID??? That’d be like saying “Yea Batman isn’t gonna be in any more DC movies but we’ll fill the void with Booster Gold, Nightwing, and Hawkgirl”. You cannot fill a void left by your top superhero with a bunch of B and C players. This is the 2012 housing market guys, you can’t just use fancy language and trick everyone into spending their money on bullshit (actually you can if your name is DC Films because goddamn everyone knows their movies suck and they still somehow make money). There really is only one way that Marvel stops the bleeding: X-Men, Fantastic 4, and Deadpool. Yes, they aren’t Spidey, but they are some of the most iconic heroes you’ve still got to play with and I would be fast tracking them immediately. Once Sony realizes it can’t make a good Spidey film without Kevin Feige, they’ll eventually come back with their tails between their legs.

And now I’m just wondering if Sony hates Tom Holland…

I mean do they have a personal vendetta against my boi Tommy or what? There’s no news as to why Dan Trachtenberg left the film just yet, but he’s a great director so I’m actually pretty concerned now. And I have no idea what the whole Playstation Productions thing actually means for the film. Normally, I would be like “perfect, someone who actually knows these games inside and out is going to be over the film”, but we have almost nothing to grade them on. More to come when the next director is announced…

Oh my god they actually made One Punch Man kill everything in one punch

I wrote about this at the end of June and holy crap they actually did it. I love this. They took an anime that is basically a parody of anime shows, and turned it into a fighting game that is basically a parody of other fighting games. What a time to be alive. There’s almost a sub-game now inside the main game. Everyone online is gonna play as Saitama, which means the game turns into Divekick. But in gaming tournaments where he’ll most likely be banned, it’ll be like a standard fighting game. In fact, as IGN points out, some have already used this news to troll the Smash community, who are well known for banning overpowered characters. I have no idea who’s developing this game, but bravo gents, bravo.

Apex developers sound off

Ok, so I kinda stand with the developers on this one. I get it, you work for literally the shittiest company on planet Earth (EA, not Respawn), you are pouring hours and hours of overtime into this title, and everything you release just gets absolutely shit on by people like me. Believe me, I completely and utterly understand your frustration. In fact, I’d love to talk to any Apex developer one on one about this because I really do appreciate their attempts. But, at the end of the day, your new patch was a broken attempt to steal everyone’s money. Whether that was a corporate decision or not doesn’t matter; you fucked up, and we let you know. But if some low life piece of fucking shit is sending death threats to you, you have absolutely every right to hop on Twitter and go off. I think one thing we’ve learned about the battle royale community over the last year is you will never ever satisfy them. So I vote we throw them all into the deepest pit of the Earth and whoever figures out a way to escape gets to survive. All in favor?