It’s been a while since a blog huh?
When I said I wasn’t gonna be posting on here as frequently as I was I honestly wasn’t planning on waiting a month until my next post. I’ve just not had much to talk about. January has been a quiet month for game releases and overall gaming news. All I’ve seen on my timeline really are STONKS STONKS DOGE STONKS and Xbots bragging about how they finally have their next-gen launch title (The Medium) even tho…PlayStation had Spider-Man and Demon’s Souls on Day 1.
Speaking of which please buy DOGE so I can be a millionaire.
I’ve been kinda in the same routine since the last time I blogged. I have this condition where I love these games with high skill curves like Valorant, LoL, Tarkov, Dark Souls, etc but I also cannot stand losing so I go from losing in one game to losing in another and just stay trapped in an endless hellfuck of my own doing, never getting better at any of them.
You know what I am getting better a though?
Dating.
How?
I have no fucking clue but its bound to happen eventually.
You see the one thing I’ve learned now that I’m almost out of my 20s is that dating for our generation sucks complete dick. Would not recommend. It’s the worst fucking thing ever. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t look like Zac Efron or that guy from Euphoria that girls fucking hate but also want to rearrange their guts.
Dating in our generation is just so much harder than boomers or Gen X because the internet and social media fucked up everything.
I didn’t grow up thinking that I was gonna marry a supermodel. I knew at the age of 12 when I wasn’t getting any better at sports that I wasn’t gonna be Megan Fox’s next boy toy. I had realistic expectations back then. But now I’m 28 and every single girl from 21-35 looks like they either have 87k followers on Instagram or be an extra in at least 3 Netflix films as Cute Girl #2.
Girls have gotten hotter and I have gotten…fatter.
Goddamn you TikTok and Instagram for letting me know that every second of every day. Especially with this new filter/trend.
If I did that I would literally be the silouhette of the Michelan Man covered in slime.
My last girlfriend was a huge bullet dodge. She was in love with nature and the outdoors and gypsy clothing and dreamed of one day living in a van on a tour across the US. She went to school for nursing and really genuinely cared about people and how they felt. So right about now, you’re asking yourself why in the absolute fuck would I be a good match for her when I’m a rude outspoken gaming blogger that would rather be caught dead than in a tent in the fucking woods?
Well…she had a donk. And she was a freak. So I went on a hike every once in a while so later that night I could blaze her trail oh my god I’m cringing typing this I swear I’m kidding I never went on a hike.
But you’re right; it never would have worked out. I’m an indoor gamer and she was a thicc ass granola bar. Every time we went for a hike I was miserable and every day we spent just on the couch playing games or watching Netflix she was restless. Sometimes it just ain’t meant to be.
And that’s kinda the point of this blog really. Everyone has different interests and hobbies and sometimes they gel and sometimes they don’t. Unfortunately in my town, a lot of the girls I meet have zero desire to even try gaming and honestly just look down on the hobby as a whole. I’m just kinda done dealing with that bitchy attitude.
Like I’ve said before, I have literally zero desire to ever watch The Bachelor, Love Island, or The Real Housewives of whatever the fuck. But I’ve never been like “oh you watch The Bachelor? yea I just don’t date girls that do thatttt….”
Gaming is a perfectly normal hobby to have by guys and girls in our generation. The fact that we even have to deal with that shit from guys and gals who are still brainwashed by their boomer parents into thinking gaming is a deep dark hole for the lazy and introverted is ridiculous. And that’s why I’ve decided to only date gamer girls from here forward.
Not because I’m infatuated with the e-girl look or I’m obsessed with some streamer/TikToker; I’m just sick of justifying my life choices and hobbies when I should be enjoying myself with people that are interested in the same shit I am.
How am I going to achieve this? How will I secure a gamer girlfriend?
I have no fucking clue.
I did download one of those “gamer dating apps” and it was a complete lost cause. The nearest semi-attractive girl on there was 200 miles away and you can only message them once for free, which means they are probably all fake.
But Valentine’s Day is only 11 days away and time is running out. Not for me; I don’t give a fuck. But for every girl out there that doesn’t want to be alone on V-Day 2021, they are on the hunt for literally anything.
So I’m gonna get to sprinting across wide open fields covered in deer piss for the next few days and let you know if I find a match.
